Wheelin it 2012-13: Grampa

During my last physical examination, my doctor asked me about my
physical activity level.

I described a typical day this way:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 4 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I
waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. Avoided standing on a snake, climbed several rocky hills. I took a few leaks behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers.

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an
outdoors man!"

"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer!

Nashville Farm Kid

You get a different prospective when you live on a Farm by Nashville.

A farmer drove to his neighbours and knocked on the door.

A boy about 9 opened it.

The farmer said "Is your Dad or Mom home?

"No they went to town" answered the boy.

"How about your brother Howard"?

"No he went with them but if you want to borrow some tools I know where thy are".

The farmer stood there uneasy shifting from one foot to another and finally said "I really would like to talk to your dad about Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant"

The boy thought for a moment and replied"You would have to talk to my dad about that.I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig but I don't know how mush he charges for Howard"